June, Juney, June

June is actually my middle name, in case you werent aware. But... can you guess what my OTHER middle name is? haha


So... I got lots of sweet feedback from my recent blog and I’m so glad many of you had the same response I did. Haha.

Anyway, as promised I wanted to update you on the happenings around the base. Summer of Dance has been here for about two weeks and already I just love every single one of them. They are all so precious!!! I sound like such a mom, but it’s sort of how I feel. I’m just so excited for what God is going to do in them over the next few months. I know he’s going to blow their expectations right out of the water. So in addition to the summer of dance we also have the Musicians Summer of Service and Summer of Sports running at the same time. We leave on the 4th of July for Germany. And it looks like we’ll be traveling to five different cities: Hamburg, Dresden, Frankfurt, Berlin, and Stuttgart. We’ll be working with two different summer festivals performing alongside the musicians and working with the athletes running teaching/coaching clinics. It’s shaping up to be an incredible summer!

I have a few really exciting opportunities right after Summer of Dance ends that I want to share with you all. The first week of August I’ve been invited to a dance conference in Houston run by one of the major Christian dance companies in the US. This would be an incredible time for me to connect with many other Christian artists and dancers, not just from the states but many also come from Europe and Asia. It’s also an excellent opportunity for me to get some world class training. I’m talking with the company about a possible scholarship for the $400 tuition for the week long conference, however I still need to get there. Flights prices haven’t been particularly consistent so really, I’m looking from anywhere between $400-700.
And, about three weeks after the conference in Houston, I’ve been asked to accompany one of the fantastic worship bands here at base to Egypt. There is a University of the Nations—which is also apart of YWAM—conference there, and I’ve been asked to dance as part of the worship “set.” This is a little more expensive than Houston, but all in all, incredible considering it’s Egypt. Because of what has already been raised by the band, I only have to raise $900. But I need it by August 1st.

So, in the next two months I need to raise about $1600. It’s less than I’ve needed in the past but enough to make me pretty fervent in my prayers for that money! Haha… But anyway, if you would be interested in supporting me for one or both of these trips that would be fantastic! If you don’t already have the donation information write me back and I’ll let you know.

There’s also one thing that’s just on my heart to share about money. Finances is always a hard subject to broach but God doesn’t shy away from it. In Malachi 3, God specifically says to TEST him in his giving. Correct me if I’m wrong, but to my knowledge this is the only place in the bible God directs us to test him. He says if we are faithful in our tithes and offerings we will “see if [he] will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” (Mal. 3.10)
Believe me, I have tested this principle, and true to both his word and what people say, God will in fact pour out blessing as you bless others with money. Lately, I’ve been trying to not let what I think or need to live on dictate how much or what I give to others. And as I’ve been obedient to give, God has literally given my 10 times back what I’ve given away.

And for those of you who have already been supporting me, I pray each time I see your names on my cheque (or check if you’re American) that he pays the money you’re so generous with back to you ten fold. Actually, I would love to hear the ways that God returns that money to you. So let me know if you have a minute. Plus I’d love to hear from you anyway.

So hopefully that didn’t sound too preachy. That’s not how I meant it, I just wanted to share that little scriptural tid bit with you all.

Until Later!!!

The Realization of J. Alfred Prufrock

... only my ending is slightly more upbeat. haha... I don't normally get my preach on but this might count. I just wanted to encourage you with a little passion. Zealot, here I come.


So, here on the base, when so many teachings and experiences with God are so readily available it’s so easy for me to become complacent. If I wanted to, I have the opportunity to hear really sound, solid biblical teaching from men and women whose lives are wholly devoted to studying the Bible. I could sit in on a DTS lecture any day of the week and hear revelation after revelation of God’s intense, emotional heart for me. I have the opportunity to worship in a community setting every single day, sometimes twice or three times a day. There is so much of GOD at my finger tips, it’s almost like I’ve become anesthetized. And over the last few months I have.

By my own fault, I became spiritually sedated. I’m not even really sure how it happened, it just did. Then, I attended an evening lecture for the current DTS. The topic isn’t even relevant to what God showed me that night. After a few songs in worship I began to get so frustrated. I was having trouble focusing and engaging and I earnestly desired to praise God but I just couldn’t and I couldn’t understand why. And then something just clicked. I had no control over my body anymore. I collapsed to the floor sobbing uncontrollably, weeping, screaming even. When I opened my eyes my nose was gushing blood, it was all over my hands and face. It must have been a scary sight! But I felt God say so strongly to me that if I allowed myself to continue to be anesthetized, swept into complacency by a general ebb and flow of life, that I would bleed to death (figuratively, of course.) I was being beaten, blinded, and bled and I didn’t even know it. I was not even aware of my own feelings. But as I look over the general turn my thoughts were taking in the last few months I realized that I had become more cynical. More prone to thinking: everything good happens to everyone else. God must be punishing me. Self-pity followed after comparison and sarcasm and cynicism just fed the flames. And here’s what happened: I lost hope. Without even being aware that I lost it, I lost hope that my God is good to me. That my God cares so deeply for me. That my God went to hell and back to make sure I knew these things. And that he would die again THIS SECOND if it meant preventing me from continuing on that path was bleeding me dry. I was suffering and I didn't have a clue.

And here’s the thing about suffering. Suffering doesn’t have to mean that Pauline, beaten and stoned, dying upside-down kind of suffering. Simple suffering (at least to us) is just as debilitating as more profound suffering. Relatively speaking, it’s not the same, especially when you’re speaking to someone who survived a genocide or something. But still, pain is pain. And I’ve realized suffering, while crappy, is actually a gift. Just because God is good doesn’t meant hat circumstance will always be as good to us. But (yet another thing I’ve been pondering) God is ALWAYS committed to bringing life in more abundance. So, as he is faithfully good, he would never make us walk through something that would not bring us life. So, while there may be elements in my life that require death, that death will always ultimately bring me more life and freedom than I could have ever imagined. Jesus didn’t have to suffer. But in order to bring freedom from the law he had to put to death all the things that were bleeding Israel dry. They too, were blinded, beaten, and bled out. His suffering and death issued so much life, a life that I am capable of living EVERY DAY! (I’m getting really passionate!!)

His death has brought me LIFE! So why do I waste it?! Why do I allow myself to be sedated, wishy-washy, here and there, comfortable with my routine? What God has offered me is so much more FUN than that! So why do I not take advantage? Why do I not ride every roller coaster in the park, milking that day pass for all it’s worth?! I’m not really sure, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I will no longer allow that to happen. I have decided that I will take advantage of every high and every low. No matter how painful or how joyous. Caution is lost in the wind and I’m ready!

January 09'

It's time for something new! Really! It's a new year and a new season. I've been having such a great time with God lately. I've been glued to my bible like never before. It's so funny, I've been studying it like a textbook, which I've never done. I'm just so desperate for God's wisdom I can't stop with the word. It's been amazing. Although I've had some ups and downs. Just a lot of opportunity to practice God perfecting his power in my weakness. I've really felt that impressed on my heart lately. Am I here at YWAM, teaching and leading, for my glory or am I "serving" for my own benefit. I think unfortunately I've been operating from the principle of the later. I just get into this zone where I think I can do it all on my own. That my wisdom comes from me, that I have all the answers, that God uses me more than others (to be perfectly honest about my sicken pride). I have to remind myself of what Paul says in 2 Corinthian. What did I receive that was not a gift? The wisdom, the strength, the gifts, the leadership, the money, the position, all because of him. I haven't been submitting like my God is really worthy of. So I'm learning some humility. But the cool thing is that the more I am humbled, the more I see less of myself, the more I am able to see God in my life. What he has done, what is capable of doing. It really is true, not just a cheesy saying: less of me, more of him. Guys, God is so incredible.

But anyway, I'm back at the YWAM base for the new quarter, and it's an intense one. The students have started new classes. Dance History (the class I teach) is over and now we're on to Anatomy. The students are having a tough time with this one. There's a lot of information to learn is six weeks and they're feeling very overwhelmed.
We're also having two guest artists come to set dances on us for our upcoming outreach in February. We're hosting the woman who pioneered School of Dance in 2002 as well as a woman from an amazing company in Ohio that we've never had before. She teaches a very rare technique of modern dance so it's really exciting! haha... maybe to put it in a different, more accessible context, let' say we're having a guest speaker come who is an expert in teaching a rare language.
But anyway, we're only a short time away from outreach in Rwanda. We've been preparing like mad for our departure on February 22! We've found an incredible couple at a massive church in the capital city of Rwanda, Kigali. We'll be teaching dance in workshops to schools and churches as well as participating in many evangelistic calls. We call these open airs. We get down in dirty, dancing in the middle of the dirt, sharing testimonies and sharing the gospel after we dance. I haven't been this excited for an outreach ever. I really feel that God is going to use our dance team in mighty ways. Please pray with me that we will see SOOO much fruit this outreach. Over the last year God has really begun to break my heart for people that don't know him. So I'm pumped!!!!
So that's just a short update. I have some new pictures to put up and hopefully you saw the video of my Christmas dance that I posted on my facebook. If you havent, it's a real winner!!! haha. It will probably change your life!

Prayer Requests:
- Health in Rwanda: three of our students have VERY severe food allergies including wheat, gluten, sugar, and certain types of fat. They will have a really difficult time eating if God does not give them the grace to eat whatever they need.
- Team Unity: We are not certain right now if all the staff are coming on outreach and that has caused some issues at the planning level. We really need to hear God's voice clearly to move forward.
- Students as they learn anatomy: to understand the terms, positions, bones, and muscles without feeling overwhelmed and checking out.
- I am also quite tired. The school really takes a lot out of me and I need God's strength more and more to given the students the best they deserve. Please pray for more strength and energy for me.
- Team and Individual Finances: there are several girls on our team that still need a few thousand dollars.

Also, please continue to pray about my finances. God is so faithful to provide, so please pray about whether or not you can be apart of this with me. In the grand scheme of things $800 is nothing! $20 from 40 people and it's covered! I need my portion of my outreach fees by January 20th.
If you can't give please pray with me.

Thank you so much for reading my updates and praying with me. I can't really share with you how important your prayers and finances are to me. I really wouldn't be here without you!

Computers, Haggai, and Discipline (Fall 08)

Hey Friends,
It’s time for an update. I apologize for the extreme length in between this update and the last. There are several reasons:

School of Dance has just started! It has been three weeks since the first day and wow, what a roller coaster. The first two weeks I was teaching dance technique in the morning and setting choreography all afternoon. It was quite tiring. There’s something about talking and demonstrating for hours at a time that is so exhausting. Then the third week, last week, I was teaching several two hour lectures about the Rise of Dance in Classical Greece and Rome. So pretty much every minute of my “free” time was occupied with preparing for these teaching times. So this week, I’m really enjoying a little time to breath when I’m not in classes.

The second reason is that my computer crashed. I was actually preparing my August update, loading pictures, and sharing about what I’ve learned the last year here in YWAM and all of a sudden my computer froze! I have a MacBook so this was brand new, this had never happened to me. So I took it in and sure enough my hard drive was dead and EVERYTHING—pictures, teaching notes, music, research—was gone. This was traumatic to say the least. It took nearly a month to get it fixed (because this is Montana) so, it’s hard to take an hour of time on someone else’s computer to write an update.
Anyway… what’s new? Well, like I said, the school has started and it’s been stressful and very busy, but so awesome! The girls are amazing. They’re SO focused and dedicated to their work, they want to absorb every once of knowledge that we can give them! It’s great because it makes me work harder as an instructor to give everything I can. They’ve really been challenging me!

We’ve got our outreach nailed down for this year. I can’t say just yet because we haven’t mentioned it to our students yet, but I’ll tell you soon. Safe to say though, that I’ll be headed back to East Africa. But because we have less students each of us staff will not be given any money toward our own outreach. And it looks like this is going to be an expensive outreach. We each need to raise 2,500$ to finance our trip, but I know God is SO faithful. So please pray with me that God will provide all that money for us as a staff team (and if you would like to support me/us that would be awesome!)

Also, I’ve been praying about staying in Africa longer than one month. So after my team leaves in March I would stay an additional two months working with ministries in Rwanda, Tanzania, Malawi, and Uganda. But I’ll send another update about that soon. If you have any questions about that you can ask but I’m not really sure I’ll have the answer just yet. This opportunity is just shaping up, so I’ll keep you updated.

Some other things going on… God has been walking me through the Old Testament book of Haggai. It seems like a random book, but it is packed with goods! God is interrogating my devotion, motivation, and my commitment to holiness. I’ve been living with this false idea of "spiritual safety" because of a wrong understand and application of grace. And as a result I’m learning quite a bit about discipline, both receiving and practicing discipline. No one ever talks about God rebuking them anymore. I've looked at God like some peace loving, non confrontational, passive aggressive hippie. "A God who loves doesn't rebuke." Well, that's where Haggai comes in. God has repeatedly asked his people to set themselves apart, to be holy, to take part in certain rituals and abstain from others. And they don't so God is upset. Not because he's petulant or rule-oriented but because he desires holiness. Again, love and not punishment is the name of the game. All that to say... Discipline and Fear (capital F) are changing my world right now. And this is what Haggai is teaching me.

So that’s about that. Here are some things you can pray for me:
- Finances for outreach,
- Wisdom about staying longer in Africa and also where to go,
- Learning discipline, and
- My back has been really, really painful lately and it’s really inconvenient because I can’t do my job properly.

After Outreach....

Well, we got back from Taiwan yesterday. It was a very long day of travel. We flew through Korea to LA and from LA to Spokane, Washington. Four of us drove our own cars and we just parked them in Spokane because it was considerably less expensive than using a base van. So, 1am in Spokane and we're all loaded up and one of the guys cars breaks down. Radiator fluid everywhere. So, we wait an hour for AAA and our finally on our way. So we stop for food and then another hour later we're finally on our way. So a solid 30+ hours of travel and one gorgeous sunrise in the Montana rockies later, we arrived at the base about 8am.

But our time in Taiwan was incredible. We hosted two dance camps. The first was for inner city kids. At times, it was pretty challenging to get them to be interested in anything but after a few days they warmed up to them and it was really hard to say goodbye to them after a week with them. We taught them ballet, modern, African, and hip hop. Ballet was probably the funniest to teach, they tried SO hard. It was hysterical watching them work so hard at pirouettes and turning their feet out.
The second camp we hosted was for a community outreach for a local Taiwanese church. We had 60 kids ages 4-20 and we taught them them a lot of the same stuff we taugh the other camp. But a special highlight for me at this camp was praying with several kids to accept Christ. Even after several years working at camp and even a year with YWAM, I had never had the opportunity to lead anyone to Jesus. It was just so precious to see their earnest desire for God at such a young age. At this camp I was also able to pray with and encourage a young girl whose father is quite abusive. She was so excited to accept Jesus but was terrified of what her father, who was Buddhist, would do to her if she found out. That was a pretty emotional day for me and I know seeing that young girl in such pain was really hard for some of our girls. They come from very conservative and isolated families and had never really been exposed to some of the harsh realities of our world. They were so angry at the injustice of this young girl's life but were totally helpless. I think it was a challenging but fruitful encounter for them. I know they won't forget that girl either. At the end of that camp the church leadership that organized the camp said they wanted to pray for us. So our combined dance and basketball teams piled into this small room and they prayed for several of us with injuries. I asked for prayer because my ankles, which were not injured had been giving me such trouble. I had been in a lot of pain most of outreach just from dancing on concrete and poor surfaces and also ten years dancing and compounded injury. So these two ladies prayed for me and felt quite strongly that it was an attack from the enemy that I had been in such pain for weeks. Because it had really held me back from performing to the best of my ability because I was afraid that I would hurt myself more severely. But what is really cool is that while they were praying for me in chinese, God showed me a picture of him putting a large purple cloak over me and telling me that he was my protection. Then, when the ladies stoped praying the translator told me what they felt about the pain being an attack but they also told me that they felt God telling them that I am under God's protection now. So it was just a really cool confirmation and a really neat use of God's spirit through several languages and cultures. It was a neat experience for me. BUT! The coolest thing of all happened when the ladies prayed for a girl on our dance team that had been having a lot of back trouble. One of her legs was shorter than the other and been proving to be a little painful. So as they prayed in Chinese I heard this girl scream and say "oh my goodness! I felt that!" and the lady praying was totally stunned because Karla's leg had grown to match the length of her other leg! It was incredible!

The rest of our time in Taiwan was spent performing at hospitals, nursing homes, schools, and out on the street. One hospital we performed at several times so the girls were able to get pretty comfortable with their surroundings and instead of making them complacent their comfort made them bolder. It was amazing. I remember one specific time when our youngest student felt God leading her to speak before a large crowd. She didn't really know what to say but she knew that God was calling her to speak. And with a humbling boldness, this sixteen year old girl stared preaching! Because She shared the full gospel and then the people clapped politely had she walked away a little discouraged that the whole room hadn't gotten saved. But then she saw this tiny old woman staring at her. So she went up to this lady and one of they other leaders Alissa, saw them talking and stood with the two of them. And that day that tiny little 92 year old Buddhist lady got saved. It was SO transformational for our young student. She had been held back by a lot of fear in so many areas in her life and that day something in her really broke. And, to top it all off, she had had this bracelet that she had put on over a year ago and she couldn't get it off, even though she had tried several times. But when she stood up to speak the bracelet, which was solid jade cracked and fell off her wrist. It was such a powerful symbol of God freeing her.

So all in all, I had an incredible time on outreach and an incredible time with our girls. This summer program had been so healing for me. I left the last school feeling really discouraged about my leadership and how I hadn't lived up to my expectations. But I felt that this summer, I had a wonderful time and I served our girls with excellence. I feel that I did a really good job and also that I was able to build significant and long lasting relationships with each one of them. It was a really different and positive experience. So I want to leave you with my stories praising God for his love and his provision and his power and just for who he is. I pray that each of you would experience these things in the fullness of the way that I have this summer. I pray that you would see God's provision and blessing for partnering with me in this program!

the best job ever!

Hey everyone! The last few weeks have been AWESOME!!!! I wish I could use more punctuation or be more obnoxious. The last three weeks with Summer of Dance have been incredible.
We worked on six pieces of choreography by a woman named Kendall Volkman from Florida. She was so great to work with. Her pieces were definitely challenging and the girls (staff and students) worked really hard to meet her expectations. There's just something about working together as a physical unit and spending hours in a sweaty studio that really bonds a team. ;) But Kendall was only able to be with us for ten days and, to be honest, as a leader I won't schedule anyone in such a short time again. It was pretty hard near the end. Taking in so much movement and then disciplining your body and mind to grab that movement and hold on to it was pretty hard near the end. But we pulled it together. We got some very rough video and as so as soon as we get back to the States in August I'll put it up.
Summer of Dance has been so refreshing and different from School of Dance. The school has a tremendous focus on academics and technical aspects of dance. Because the aim of School of Dance is to train technically and academically within a faith setting it doesn't have the same teaching about foundational Christian principles as something like DTS (Discipleship Training School) or Summer of Dance. But with the summer program it has both the faith input and the dance training. It's such a wonderful medium.
And the lecture content has been incredibleamazing. We've had lectures about The Cost of Discipleship, Hearing the Voice of God, God's Father Heart, Postmodernism, Evangelism, Worship, Identity, and others. They were such a transformational time for both the students and me. There were a few things about the lectures that really stood out to me. One of the students we had was quite withdrawn and not as apt to step out or put herself out there as some of the others. One day after lectures we had a time where we as staff and students prayed for one another. I prayed for this young girl and something really changed in her. She looked up around the room and she went and prayed another girl on the team, and then someone on the sports team, and then someone she had never even met! And she's been different ever since! It's been SO rewarding to see all of our students really step out of their comfort zones and be obedient to what God is telling them.
On a personal note God has done SO MUCH with me in this last month. God has been speaking to me about a few things. Like I mentioned before, He has been showing in new and tangible ways just how much he loves me. It's been incredible. I feel more free than I ever have in my life. I feel as if something has just "clicked" within me. I can't really explain it, but there is something there that hasn't been before. I feel that my identity has been and is sinking into place. God is stripping away the things that hold me back from being the full expression of him in the world. I love it.

So as we head to Taiwan there are a few things you can pray for our team:
- our team finances are pretty tight. We would love for God to multiply our money like he did with the fishes and the loaves.
- protection from illness and injury,
- team unity, travel and outreach can tend to heighten differences between people and under the stress of outreach it can become a problem,
- obedience. Something that has become a theme with our team has been stepping out with when God calls us to. We want to move when God says move.

Thanks for your support and prayers. It means so much to me and my team!

a smattering of update

Happy June!

It's finally sunny and beautiful here in Lakeside! It's only taken months for summer to come around. The base here looks so different when it's not snowing or raining. Everyone comes out from their rooms and houses. There's always people and kids out playing. It just feels so much more social. Then it really does start to feel like a family around here. And my extended family now contains some 150 people.

Speaking of family, I had a chance to visit many, many relatives in Victoria, British Columbia this past month. Unfortunately, it wasn't under positive circumstances. My Granddad was diagnosed in November with an extremely aggressive form of Colon Cancer. So I went in early May to visit and see him for the last time and once again in late May for his funeral. It was strange seeing a man who was always SO robust and SO energetic truly emaciated by cancer. But there were so many things I learned about him. He was such a generous man. Throughout the many businesses that he owned he was always willing to give a job to someone who needed on. And probably the best story I heard about my Granddad was one of the last times he went to church. After a disagreement with the Priest, he asked for his offering money back. It was wonderful to get a bigger picture of what kind of man he was. And he was a man I really liked.

But back at the base things are in full swing. We've just finished our first week on Summer of Dance. We have five students and they are fantastic. We had a full week of rehearsals and they poured themselves out this week! I think I should mention that they need to pace themselves. haha! Our guest choreographer, Kendall has taught us two pieces already. They're so beautiful, once we get them video taped I'll put them up here. But they're also a little tiring. She does a lot of work on the floor and as a result I have many, many bruises. I even drew blood. I'm so hardcore. haha. But she'll be teaching us four more pieces in the next week, which is a lot, if you've never learn choreography.
The trouble is that even though we leave in three weeks. We haven't been able to nail down where we're going on outreach yet. Our initial plan was Taiwan, but because of ever increasing airfare, we just don't think it's feasible to go on our budget. So we've looked at cheaper alternatives but those don't seem to be working out either. We're having such a difficult time. But I'll keep you updated. We should find out sometime this week.

Now, there's also something I've just recently learned that makes my life considerably more difficult. Since I returned from Africa in June 2007, I've been having some difficulty with my digestive system. After a few trips to the doctor and naturalpath (how do you spell that?) I've discovered what it is that is bothering me so much. I have a bacteria called Candida and hypoglycemia. Now one wouldn't be so difficult but both together are kind of problematic. But to manage Candida there are many, many ,many foods I can no longer eat. It's actually really sad. But essentially, it means that I can't eat in the cafeteria here at the base anymore. Which makes things considerably more expensive for me. I'll be sending an email in the next few days detailing how much more I need, but it would just be helpful to have a little more money to work with because everything is getting just a little more expensive these days and having to buy specific and obscure foods is not really helping the situation.

Anyway, that's about it. Thanks for taking the time to read and pray!!!

Prayer Requests:
- For my Grandma Edith who is missing her husband,
- Energy for the dancers and myself who need to learn and dance quite a bit in the coming weeks,
- Clarity about outreach for Summer of Dance,
- healing for my stomach and other bodily ailments (side step the whole money issue),
- (if the healing doesn't come around right away) more monthly support to take care of this pesky bacteria and glucose level problem.